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slamu Alaykum,

I just wanted to ask, do you do Istekhara if somebody asked you to do it for them? Please reply back quick.



This is an official answer by Staff

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

According to many scholars istikharah can only be done by the person himself/herself, and no one can do it for them. For this reason I haven't done it for others.


Follow up question:


Yes I have heard the same. It's regarding my sister. She's got 2 proposals to consider and she has done istekhara but she's had very negative and rather strange dreams. I had also heard that sometimes your own worries or fears can influence your feelings too. When I got married I did my istekhara too but I had felt nothing or seen no dream so I also asked somebody to do it for me and he had a rather very positive dream about me so I trusted his instinct and Allah's guidance and accepted the proposal. But my sister and family are in a great dilemma. One proposal is from within the relatives and one are totally strangers, but by the look of it they both seem fine. But my sister has had weird dreams and she doesn't want to proceed with anything until there's something positive.

Can you suggest what we can do in this situation? Can you do it?

Jazak'Allah. Stay Blessed.


Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

When doing istikhara one shouldn't go with dreams. Before doing istikhara, one should first exhaust one's worldly resources. Your sister should ask the people who love her and care about her which person they like more. After doing this and anything else that may help her to get her to a decision, she should also look into her heart and see which one is slightly better in her eye than the other. Then she would do istikhara, and then she would put her trust in Allah and go with what Allah makes easy for her. When doing istikhara we shouldn't expect any special signs, we should do the prayer and then put our case into Allah's hands, and trust Him to guide us in subtle ways to what is better for us, by making the better thing easier and simpler for us to do.
I do realize that some situations can be extremely difficult for making decisions. If after all of the above she still doesn't feel assured, I suggest that she do a khatm (entire reading) of the Quran. If she doesn't understand Arabic very well she should read it with a translation, and if she doesn't read Arabic at all then a translation would be good. Sometimes I have had to read the whole Quran 3-4 times before the truth of a matter became clear to me, inshAllah she can try doing the same.
May Allah make this situation easy and bring it to a blessed conclusion inshAllah.
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